A Midsummer Night Delirium
by Monteen Stover
Summary: Snipeshooter meets a girl while he's selling papes. The other newsies teach Snipe their versions of "picking up" girls. Rated G for sillyness
1. Love's Labours Lost

 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1

            **Disclaimer**: I own nothing.  Well, maybe _some _things, but not the characters from Newsies; they belong to Disney. 

            **Author's Note**: A few things before the story; First of all, I'd like to say that this chapter is very short.  I am aware of this and the chapters will get longer and better as the story continues.   Also, this is my first Newsies fic, so be gentle.  With that being said, read, review, and then get "Luvs." 

"Exty!  Exty!  Read all about da stoim in Queens," Snipeshooter shouted enthusiastically above the hustle bustle of the crowd.  Scampering from here to there, he made his daily rounds.  Snipeshooter was so engrossed in his work, that he failed to notice a small toy sword on the ground until it was too late.  Landing with a soft 'Oof' he tripped and fell into the mud, his papers scattering.

            Snipeshooter muttered curses under his breath as he tried to collect the missing papers.  One of them was stuffed into his face.  "Is this yours?" a high-pitched, nasal voice asked.

            Snipeshooter looked up to see a young girl of about twelve was handing a newspaper to him.  She was short, had long red hair, freckles, and was slightly hefty.  To most, she would be passed off as terribly plain, but Snipeshooter would disagree.

            The red-head grew impatient.  "Well, is it yours, or isn't it?"

            "U-u-uh-huh," Snipeshooter stammered as he grabbed his paper.  

            "Sophia," a well-to-do, stout businessman called.  "Will you stop fraternizing with lowly guttersnipes and get over here?  We must still pick you out a dress for your sister's debutante ball."

            Sophie rolled her eyes, turned to the man and walked back to him whining.  "But I don't _want_ a new dress.  I want to go play with Ruby; _she's _allowed to go into the streets and play by herself!"

            "Now, we shall have none of that!  You are going to be a lady even if it kills you.  And ladies should behave as such - you're going to get a new dress!  By the way, now that you've told me what your friend's like, you will not be seeing any more of her."

            Sophie's mouth dropped in shock.  "But _Dad_!"

            "Don't disagree with your father!" The man swatted his daughter on the back of her head.

            "_Ow!_"

            Snipeshooter watched this scene unfold.  "So," he thought aloud.  "her name's Sophia . . ."


	2. Goils 101

 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1

            That night, Snipeshooter walked into the Lodging House in a daze.

            "Hey!" Mush welcomed warmly.  "How's it goin'?"

            Snipeshooter didn't seem to notice as he laid down on his bed and heaved a contented sigh.

            Racetrack smiled smugly.  "So, who's da goil?"

            Snipeshooter snapped up to a sitting position.  "Who said dere was a goil?"

            "I kin tell.  What's her name?"

            "Sophia."

            "Is dere a last name?"

            "I don't know."

            "Does she know who you are?"

            "No . . ."

            "Well, doesn't dat sound like a poifect relationship?" Racetrack asked sneering.  He could tell Snipeshooter was rather crestfallen, though, and decided to lighten up.  "But I'll tell ya what, I'll give you my own ways on pickin' up goils."

            "Really?  Would it woik?"

            "Sure thing, kid.  First of all, goils like guys dat have money; da more money ya got, da more goils ya got."

            "But I don't got no money."

            "I know dat and yous know dat, but she don't.  Jist promise her a few nice things and she'll be yours."

            Snipeshooter pondered this to himself as Racetrack walked away to get another cigar.  

            "Are you actually gonna trust him?"

            Snipeshooter looked up to see Kid Blink.  "Umm . . . I guess so . . . I mean, he seemed pretty confident."

            "Huh, confident dat his last date was a hoise.  If yous wanna get a goil, jist give her a compliment; goils love dat.  Say something nice about her dress or hair and she's yours fer life."

            "Flowers help too," Specs pipped in.

            Blink nodded.  "Tell her dat da beauty of da flowers match her poisonality or somethin'." 

            "Thanks fer the advice," Snipeshooter replied smiling broadly.

            "No problem, kid."  Blink turned to pat Snipeshooter on the back, but he was already asleep. 

**************

            Snipeshooter awakened on the following Sunday morning with fresh determination.  He freshened up and grabbed a quick breakfast and put on his best clothes.  Snipeshooter surprised his friends as he announced his intentions of being the first of the group to enter the neighborhood church that morning in anticipation of the morning worship service.  

            "What's dis?  You haven't been this eager to attend church since we plotted to loosen the grasshoppers on da choir," Racetrack laughed.

            "Aw, come on, I was only eight when I did dat.  I've matured considerably since then, in case ya haven't noticed.  Look, I tink I might need to start shaving," he smiled as he rubbed his chin.

            "No doubt about it," Jack said grinning, remembering his own eagerness to grow that first real whisker.  "I think you jist want to get to church today so dat you can be blessed by the Lord's good word and then blessed by the good food afterwards."

            Snipeshooter smiled thinking of all the good food that would be enjoyed after the long morning service.  Today was the first Sunday of the month and that meant everyone would join in the meeting hall and have lunch together after the morning service.  Snipeshooter was especially looking forward to this morning's outing because after the service the kids would grab heaping plates of food and join each other outside.  It was here that Snipeshooter could try out some of his newly discovered, suave techniques on a particular neighborhood girl.  

            Snipeshooter had scoured the past issues of "The World's" society columns and had finally found the announcement he was looking for.  Sophie's parents had proudly announced the "coming out" of their daughter, sixteen year old Shirley Elizabeth Gilmore and an entire column had been dedicated to the special event. Snipeshooter knew that Shirley Elizabeth was Sophie's sister as the announcement had referred to the debutante's siblings by name.  

            After finding her last name, Snipeshooter asked the entire town if they knew about the Gilmores.  He ended up finding lots of random information.  Sophie's father, Horace, was president of the town's most prestigious and successful bank, for instance.  Snipeshooter also found out what church they went to, which was where his excitement for this Sunday had been built. 

            Mush interrupted Snipeshooter's thoughts.  "You mean dere's free food?"

            "Dere's always free food at church," Jack replied knotting his bandana.  "Homemade cakes, an' pies, an' anythin' else yous can tink of."   

            Blink's mouth began to water.  "You know, I defiantly tink someone should go wit da kid and make shoah he . . . uh . . . doesn't die or nothin' during da soimen."

            "Why would Snipe die during da soimen?"

            "Ya never know what one is capable of when filled wit da holy ghost." Blink said knowingly, looking upwards.

            "An' someone's gotta go wit Blink ta make sure he doesn't eat da entire choich!" Mush added.

            Snipeshooter felt much braver now that he knew his friends were going with him.  Not wanting to be late, the three newsies headed off to attend the morning worship service.


End file.
